My Last Post: My struggle with PTSD.

This was written on June 14th, 2017. I stumbled upon it on my notes on my iPad that I took travelling and I thought what the heck, it might relate and help someone out there, but also brings all these travels for this year to a close. Thank you everyone who read and kept up to date with my blog posts and I hope you enjoyed this snippet of my life. So here it the last part:

Hey readers! So I've been super lazy just kicking back knowing my last few weeks travelling are slowly creeping up, and yes I am focusing on that a tad too much but more so I'm taking advantage of being in the traveller lifestyle more than I was. I am gonna miss this place and when I say that I mean like having a constant home but not knowing what it could look like as I haven't turned up to it yet. Arriving somewhere for the first time but settling in so quickly you end up calling it your local area on the same day. The world is all ours, all these streets are our homes and everything built is for everyone each man and woman is a brother and sister in some form and I just really have learnt that whilst travelling.

Whilst you're reading this wherever you are whether you are at home, where you know everyone or whether you are in a coffee shop, if so just put this article down you can get back to it, take this time this moment in life right now to get to know know who you are actually next too. I know it's a funny thing to do especially if you're in civilised England where everyone keeps themselves to themselves, but it may surprise you.

This for me was something I would struggle to do sometimes as I would over analysis meeting new people and that was because my trust in people was at a all new low before I went travelling. I know to not trust everyone but I've gained more trust in the world more like I did when I was a child, I don't let my guard down but you know I'm happier in interacting with others and not worrying about why they are trying to be nice to me because I used to think surely everyone is out to get me? Well actually no they are not.

During my travels I've gained much more trust in humanity whilst being exposed to different cultures and people but more than that. A part of me I had lost I've regained through fun memories and relaxation and time with God. Lastly now I'm not feeling like I have the world on my shoulders but instead being on the worlds shoulders, and fully knowing and recognising that I have people around me will catch you if you fall.

I think if this sounds like you thinking that the world is out to get at you all the time or like the old me sounded then I know will have to learn this lesson yourself but just let it go emotions you cling to. There will become a time where they will resolve but for now don't lose yourself in them, even if you think you know who you are. I found my mind was still living in the past I was physically in the present but not being able to fully progress or connect to the present because I blurred it out I still wanted to process my past so how could I keep moving in the present, it was a struggle I couldn't keep up with. It's also something that is very complicated to explain but if you've been through a big struggle in life or been in a fearful situation then coming to terms with it can be very challenging especially if your brain is trying to protect itself or destroy it by developing PTSD then it becomes that extra bit harder. Not only are you dealing with whether you are living in the past or current you are also struggling with triggers, flashbacks, fear, aneixty, muscle spasms or freezing.

It took me ages to realise that PTSD is actually a living breathing condition that is playing me with my mind, and it was affecting my current life but I was oblivious to it. So having this time away has really made me put life into perspective. Let me rewind to the beginning, during college a year after my 'traumatic event'. I wanted to travel, I wanted to escape my current situation but that wasn't possible I couldn't just leave I had to complete a court case. Then college was over and I was going to save and year then travel and then that didn't happen and I thought life was becoming impossible, I felt like no body understood that my life felt constantly under threat. I thought that the next day it would be taken if not now or in the next week or hours, it was horrifying living under that stress of constantly feeling like you're gonna die, if you can picture that for a moment that was my life but for a good few years. I then accepted my reality of working and never getting to do anything I wanted and some days I could accept it and numbed all emotion from it and other times I was so angry and mad that no one wanted to help me but instead pull the rocks I was standing on to keep my head above water from beneath my feet making it harder for me to stay a float. Whilst I watched everyone around me achieve in life or be happy they get life the way they wanted it whilst I was never getting anywhere this made it all the more unbearable.

I had multiple breakdowns one which my dad nearly phoned the ambulance over it because I exploded and who could blame me? In my eyes I felt like I was gonna die my body was struck with huge overwhelming fear and I couldn't do what I wanted after years of having most things I liked taken from me. All I wanted to do was travel and this dream was becoming more and more impossible and then finally the plan came together and I was off to south east Asia. During the few weeks leading up to travelling all my emotions were heightened and this fear of it getting taken from me grew and grew and I couldn't channel this energy raging in me so I channeled it with anger. I could almost taste the fact that travelling wouldn't happen id die before it happened that or as I said it'd just be taken in some way, I felt I didn't deserve happiness because I didn't believe it was possible for others to want me help be by my side and actually want to achieve happiness with me. So when the day came and I was off it was a huge relief i had achieved something I really wanted too and as I got into the traveller lifestyle and spent plenty of time with God and praying over my PTSD, I found freedom. It was in the Philippines, I got a lot of prayer for healing after I shared my testimony in a youth camp. However, this I felt was just the starting point of this last milestone of this freedom journey. After the camp I continued to pray for myself in my own time this is such a vital thing we must do as Christians but most of us only think we can seek healing for others through prayer but we can ask God for healings of our own.

Anyway, I'd moved islands but was still in the Philippines but coming to the end of our time there Dan became ill so I was kind of bound to the hostel because I didn't drive mopeds and we were in the middle of nowhere, so I decided to spend almost the entire day with God in the sun, in the garden and on the beach; it was bliss and pure paradise. Throughout the day of spending time with God there was this one moment where I was lost in worship and taking in the spirit. I was overwhelmed with peace and freedom, this was freedom thanks to God I felt a release from within me and it was my soul intwining with the holy one and pure delight came to me and resonated with me for days after, all fear had left me and I tested out reflecting on things which would often trigger a PTSD attack and it didn't. I was worried I wasn't healed and to this day might test it but nope god does not fail and to this day I am still healed. Amen.

Returning Home - (My reflecting post)

So, I discovered I never fully finished my travel blog and explaining to my readers my getting home journey and what I learnt and gained from my travels this year and as this year is now swiftly coming to a close I must also close my posts on my south East Asian travels, so there will be a few to follow after this post but welcome to my reflecting post.

At the very beginning of my blog I uploaded my first post about saying goodbye but hello to new beginnings. The emotions I expressed in it were very real and true and I was so thrilled but apprehensive to start this year knowing so much would take place. However it's nearly the beginning of July and my travels are over, I have learnt a huge deal whilst being away especially about myself and just life in general, how life works and how we function as humans. One quality I will take with me is not to worry about how short or long my own life will be, I always feared about it ending soon but I've thrown that worry away. I also really appreciate smaller things allowing me to just appreciate and love being alive and that in itself is happiness, but it isn't also everything. Being in control of yourself, your mentally, your actions play a huge role and becoming to control and conduct yourself can be a massive challenge because it also determines who you are, and when you don't know who you are its so hard recognising this or gaining it. However confusing my sentences may sound just know you will get to a place of tranquility one day with loving God and pursuing the life he has mapped out for you.

I often worried about how my life was going to pan out and I still do from time to time, like what age will I be when I get married, will I be able to have children, will I get a serious illness in 20+ years, what happens when I lose loved ones. I've recognised not to focus on these God is truly in control and he loves you more than anyone can imagine he created life that's how much he loves us. He doesn't want you to waste your life worrying like I did, I believe I developed serious anxiety and it came out in weird and worrying ways usually upon other people sometimes but now I really know I don't carry this round with me anymore I also believe medication doesn't help you work through things like anxiety I believe you have to work out how to stop it yourself. This is what I meant by becoming in control of your mind, I think everyone has worries and fears but letting them control you is going to do no good; in fact it will cripple you.

Within travelling I've had so much time to think about how I want my life to go, but I know God will always surprise me and maybe turn things up side down but only for the benefit of him and knowing that comforts me that it really is for good. I recognise this but it doesn't mean I can't plan certain things for instance if I want to work in a coffee shop or just wait to find a job more suited to me. I can plan what I'm going to do with savings and how I'm going to use my spare time whether it's getting the sewing machine down from the loft and making a pair of shorts or whether it's typing up posts on a blog. Whatever it is do it for your own satisfaction don't overly try to please others the others will reward you for being happy in your life and join in if necessary if it's on their hearts too.

Even though on these travels I've not been in a relationship I've learnt a lot about love, I think you never stop learning. I've learnt letting go of love regains love. I'm not going to expand on this hugely but you should be able to cope with or without loved ones just like you would with your mum or dad, it should be a similar but totally different love all at the same time. But accept that it's never ending if you've truly found the right person or if that person is in the same head space as you.

Top Ten Reasons You Should Travel

I'm currently in Cambodia and about to get a bus to Vietnam which takes 13 hours. Unfortunately it's really hit me that I'll be leaving South East Asia in a few weeks and heading home, so I decided to write up a list to encourage any reader thinking about travelling to pursue their thoughts; even if you're unsure. Here is my list:

My Top Ten things about Travelling

1) Seeing More than Your Doorstep:

The best thing about travelling for sure is just doing the literal meaning of it: seeing the world. Seeing time from another angle, someone else's view, seeing how others live. Seeing beautiful views and being immersed into a whole new life, one you didn't even know was yours to discover. Experiencing new activities and feeling limitless. It is the ultimate way of living. Another thing is having the time to truly appreciate gods work as you see more and more unfold in front of your eyes, finding new bugs on your trails and walking along endless stretches of beaches and seeing the different rock formations around the world. You soon work out how bloody brilliant of an artist he is.

2) Having The Time To Explore

Having space for God time to a predominant part of the day. I've loved spending boundless time with God, but also getting to explore something until my heart is content. Having my own time without worrying about anything, like when your phone is due to be paid or what time do you have to be asleep as you have work at 5am the next day. Just utter relaxation of body and mind.

3) Meeting New People

It's ridiculous how many people are constantly on an adventure somewhere in the world. It makes you realise how when you're at home how much you keep your life and social life to what you are used too, and to your small circle. At home you don't have the opportunity to constantly meet new people on completely different life journeys. I've held people's hands as they cry over a parents death and I've only known them a few days, yet i share with them the same love I'd show if it was my best friends hand I holding. How friendship is a quickly developed but strong built and you go through ups and downs with all different people all building up bigger pictures of your own memories. People being in your life for a couple days but bro in unforgettable memories.

4) Using All Your Senses

By this I mainly mean tasting all the different weird and wonderful foods that chefs, mums, street food shop owners, bar tenders all cook for you on your journey keeping you interested in your pallet. I love these people, sometimes they don't have a passion for food but it ends up being so much more exciting to discover food this way in comparison to walking down to your local Pizza Hut where you would know it's location and the menu off by heart. Each meal is a surprise a discovery and a sensory path to learning more about your area.

5) Culture

Having the opportunity to experience a different way of life to what you are accustomed to can be a real eye opener. I believe it helps you mature and grow as a person, it also makes you have an attitude switch to how you may conduct yourself at home. For instance anyone who was born and raised in England wouldn't appreciate having toilet roll, out here in south east Asia it is a massive rarity and you realise just something simple like having toilet roll is a huge luxury. Just experiencing that small culture difference makes you so much more appreciative of the little things in life. I know people will argue that you don't have to travel to grow in appreciation just go hiking in England for 5 days it's the same? Well I don't believe it is, it's much more extreme when travelling it's not a trip that you will go home in a few days and forget minor struggles you faced, those struggles will shape you they will help you realise this is people's day to day lives, unchangeable, under-advanced and unable to experience anything else. It's amazing to experience and if you don't experience it you stay in a more sheltered outlook of life with no sense of truly striving. You may have strived for your uni degree but during your uni degree you had food, you had clean water, you had a toilet to use, yes you may have had to cut things out as your on a budget but it's nothing compared to live standards outside of your own country. Dive into this journey and you would regret it I'll be a life changer in your own culture.

6) Growing

As I touched on this in culture you will realise whilst you're out traveling it's not just culture change that you learn and grow in; you grow in all senses. The greatest thing whilst travelling Young is gaining independence, this independence is different from moving out as you learn different things. You are not learning how to pay bills and how to arrange payments for a mortgage or flat rental, you are learning how to adapt in different environments, communicating all the time with a vast range of people some who won't speak a word of English. You also come into contact with budgeting, new experiences, learning limits/ what acceptable in what country and learning how to get around the big wide world that we all live in, it's really easy and a lot less nerve racking when you are doing it. Another aspect is you growing in Christ you can appreciate our fathers magnificent creation and all the different details dotted all around. You also have a huge amount of time to think, reflect, deal with whatever life has thrown at you in the past or present, you learn to depend more on him when you see or experience something tragic. You have plenty of time to read the bible and become more solid on your foundation.


7) Animals

As an animal lover when you travel you see so many diverse animals that you may not see in your own country, it's so intricate getting to see the details of them up close. Whether it's a rare or common bird you come across, a new type of bee you didn't know existed or a water buffalo you don't get them in your own country and it can truly blow you away- it definitely does with me. I also love being immersed with dogs and cats and each hostel usually has either one of them so having them as a personal pet for a few days at a time is how I love to spend my time. Whether I'm socialising with new friends or sitting listening to music having a cat or dog to stroke in my arms i find it so much more enjoyable and reminds of my little one back one (my dog).

8) Always Learning

With travelling it's so nice discovering new place and being on the go. The best thing is that you have the time to learn about the country your in whether it is visiting museums or chatting to local people who tell you about the traditions of a culture or a part of the country. Learning and growing is different, however you learn whilst your growing and you grow with knowledge, but learning is more knowing something entirely new. Where as growing is expanding on what you already know. I think where ever you end up travelling I believe you should take time in learning about the history of that particular country, I think this is important and that's why it's in my top 10.

9) No Work!!!

This should probably be higher up on my list but it's also like a go to thing as you're not in your home country working. It's so nice having no responsibilities no stress in being somewhere at a certain time, if you miss your bus it doesn't follow with consequences such as getting a disciplinary or worst getting fired. It's just so stress-free, even if you decide to work abroad it's nothing like working in your own country, it always feels so much more enjoyable, I believe it's because it's something new so it's exciting and usually the work comes with great satisfaction you feel good for helping and giving your time to others. Whereas in England you want to be paid for giving your time.

10) Massages

Finally, my top 10 has reached its final point. I don't know about you but I love massages like seriously love them, they have different styles of massage in different countries and it's a great way to spend an hour. I've literally had at least one massage a week and I've been away for 4 months, in south east Asia especially they are super cheap. In England you can pay up too £100 on a One hour massage whereas the most expensive I've paid out here is £10 and the cheapest was £2. Another lovely thing as I've previously mentioned is that each country has a unique style
I find this really interesting and have enjoyed them thoroughly- I've even had a massage given to me by a blind person (Cambodia) so each time is a new experience they are never boring or the same and always relaxing.

I hope this may encourage you to travel and more so to discover yourself your top ten things about travelling. I hope you get the chance to travel and save up those pennies in order to do so, the world is massive and would take more than a life time to explore so start young or old but don't not do it!!

Bible study of John 5

On this study of John I will be using same style as my previous bible study posts. So do follow the entire plan, which will explain the study.

John 5:1-16

My Summary:

Sick people gathered into a pool, a paralysed man couldn't make it into the pool. This man had been ill for 38 years. Jesus first asked if he wanted to be better, he replied I want to get to the pool. Jesus replied 'Get up take your mat and walk', so he did.
He couldn't recognise Jesus nor knew who he was but they later met at the temple. Jesus said 'if you continue sinning, your life will become far worst than it was'

-Does Jesus suggest the mans sin made him ill?

-How can we apply John4:27-42 to this passage?

-Where does sin lead us?

-Why do you think sin makes our lives worst? Or does it?

-Why does mankind sin? Are we designed to sin?

-How do we over come sin?

John 5:17-29

Jesus claims his father is always working therefore he also needs to work. Jesus was given the authority to judge like God so that people recognise and honour the father. This made the authorities want to kill Jesus even more as he made himself equal to God. Although Jesus does say he is nothing without the father.

-Why does Jesus have the right to judge?

-How does this help show us who Jesus is?

-How did the authorities react?

John 5:31-47

My Summary:

In this passage it tells us about Jesus' life being a testimony to others and that it is the ultimate testimony. If you believe others testimonies how can you deny Jesus'?

-Why is it important to share our testimony to others?

-Should testimonies be kept outside/inside the church community? ...Why do you think that?

-From this passage Jesus does not reveal his testimony but from your own knowledge what is his testimony? Why is it so important? Does it affect our lives?

Travelling from Bali to Komodo Island

As you are right now I spent a lot of time surfing the Internet trying to find any information I could about getting from Bali to Komodo island. Here hopefully I can answer some of the questions you might have. Before I dive into what I did I'll also tell you all the options available, as some travellers might prefer other means, but I'm not gonna lie if you are on a budget it's quite pricey getting to Komodo island and for eating whilst you are there. Unless you are really determined to see these amazing dragons and manta rays you may as well head to gilli island it's much cheaper from Bali and the marine life is amazing and you have a chance of seeing manta rays, just no dragons. That is my advice for anyone on a serious budget.

How to get to Komodo Island

You have about two options you can go by boat and bus, or plane

Option One - boat and bus

This route takes approximately 65 hours, and probably is about £50/$42 dollars cheaper than plane depending on season, but that doesn't include food your'll need to buy on your 3 day travel to Komodo island. So you really need to weigh up whether it is worth it but if you are taking this route but you do get to stop at beautiful places along the way.

Firstly, from Bali you have to get to Ubud where there is a bus terminal next to the main supermarket in Ubud here you can buy tickets on the door and they will take you to the docks in Bali. Now you could get a boat to gilli island which will cost maybe $15-20 so it's quite easily to get there and spend some time here it's beautiful great for surfers or people who want to explore marine life.

From here you have to travel to the east of the island where you can hop on another boat to Pulau Lombok island. Here you have to get a 3-5 bus journey to the east of the island. Which is roughly $10-15 they might charge you $20 but try haggle here. Once you have arrived at the eastern docks. You will get a short 1-2 hour boat journey to West Nusa Tenggara.

This is the long part of the journey you have a 12-14 hour bus ride across this Long Island, this can cost $35-45 and you might only get 2 stop overs so chose wisely how much liquid you consume so you're not needing the pee! These buses will not have toilets on them like the coaches in England.

From here you can visit Komodo island the boat rides here will be more expensive you're looking at up to $60 dollars the more people the less it is. But it is an over night boat trip and food is included, I recommend you book this from the hostel you are going to be staying at they usually have cheaper rates, and is genuinely a safer option. When are arrive on Komodo island you have an additional $10 charge for the tour guide. Read on for more information about this.

Option 2- plane

If you're in Bali your'll depart from Denpasar to Rinca Island which is the nearest island to Komodo. In some seasons this can cost $150 and also double check because weirdly enough it was cheaper for us to go business class which was glorious but sadly it was only a 75 minute plane journey. This is much more hassle free option and similar price to going via boat and bus. However some times of the year it may only cost $70-80, so if you have lots of planning time then try fall for this time of the year which is around October.

Bible Study John 4 - The Good Samaritan

Remember through this bible study I take you through the questions sometimes have no right or wrong answers, it's down to just helping you expand your thinking about the verse and to also to challenge your opinions. All answers will be posted on a separate blog post. All studies are laid out the same so continue the method being repeated.

My summary of John 4:1-22

The Parasiees heard of this news of Jesus baptising, when actually it was Jesus' disciples Jesus went to galilee. He stopped near a well, Jacobs well. A Samaritan lady came to draw water. Jesus asked her for some water. Jews were not meant to share bowls and cups with Samaritans . Jesus told her about having eternal water, she was not convinced by him just saying this. Jesus challenged her by asking if she has a husband? She answered truthfully and Jesus confirmed her truth to her and also spoke more of her life than she had told him. This made her believe that Jesus was the son of God and she awed over him, he told her Samaritans do not know who to worship, she went back to tell her family and friends of the good news.

- Why aren't Jews meant to share cups and bowls with Samaritans? How can we learn from this and relate it now a days?

- Why is Jesus a Jew when he me time a change? Is he his own religion? He states 'a spirit leads one where God will be fully pleased with worship' what does this mean to you?

- Why was it important that we share the good news to those who are already part of a religion? And how can this passage help us with that?

John 4:27-42

My Summary:

The rest of the Samaritans in the village heard the good news that the messiah is here. They went to see for themselves whether the woman Jesus spoke to at the well was right and she was.

- What do you think it means when the the bible says: 'we believe now not by what you have said but because we ourselves have heard?'

-Write down two sentences that really resonate with you and re read them every day for a week to memorise them.

- Reflect on the sentence 'the one who plants and reaps will be glad together' what does this mean to you and how can we apply this to our daily lives?

John 4:43-54

My summary:

They returned to Galilee where Jesus' first miracle happened. A government official approached Jesus with panic, telling him his son was very sick and he wanted Jesus to come and heal him. All Jesus said in return was 'he will live'. The man believed his words and left Jesus. Before he had arrived home his servants were rushing out to tell him his son is alive, he asked his servants what had happened. They said at 1pm the sickness just left his body, this was the same time Jesus said he will live. This was Jesus' 2nd miracle.

-How does this aid us with our faith?

-Can Jesus still heal now?

-What should we do when we are sick? Or others are sick.?

Are You a New Christian and Don't know What to Pray?

Sometimes as a new Christian we can be a bit baffled or overwhelmed when it comes to prayer, what is it, what do we use it for, why do we do it. Hopefully I can offer a bit of help when it comes to this area. If anyone knows me I am kind of a new Christian myself I gave my life to Jesus 2 years ago and the journey has been amazing, challenging at points but the most worthwhile one.
When I first became Christian I was eager to pray about everything and anything and I was in awe of Gods presence but I also had guidance with the best way to pray and I also found God through prayer so I already knew it's importance and the role it plays in our day to day lives. However, I realise that not everyone has these advantages so I'm here to take you through prayer.

What Is Praying?

Praying is simply talking to God, we have the power of the Holy Spirit within us and we can use that to contact God directly. It's like having him on the other end of the phone, a phone whose line is never engaged and never goes to voicemail. That's a great thing but another awesome thing is that prayer has power, because you are contacting the almighty creator of this earth, he WILL answer, whether it's immediate or not, or whether it's easy to hear the answer or not. It's also really important to remember to thank god in prayer, we usually should start with this as it is the most important part, to thank him for everything in his creation as it all has purpose. This also helps to remind us that sometimes the little things don't matter he is good and has a greater reasoning that we not understand or see.

Why Do We Pray?

Us Christians pray because firstly it says to in the bible, we also know that Jesus prays so it must be important, if we didn't pray we wouldn't receive answers to help guide us on our journeys. Praying also benefits God as it declares what's on our hearts, he already knows everything we are going to say to him before we say it but it's good to reconfirm your love and trust in him. Prayer is also linked with praise and our hearts are designed to praise God and prayer is an excellent way to do this. I will show you later on examples of praising through prayer.

What Do We Use It For?

We use prayer for a number of reasons, sometimes to seek strength or comfort, sometimes just to generally chat to God, to ask for healing, to release our emotions: but probably the most common is to ask for his hand over a situation or to help us. Not only as Christians should we pray for our own lives but for other people's. Sometimes it's powerful to physically speak out your prayers, this can be by yourself or with others, sometimes it good to hear when you are getting prayed over or you are praying over someone as the Holy Spirit can guide your voice to speak into yours or others lives. Prayer is almost like a super power, it can hugely impact someone's life, even totally change their life; God listens to our prayers. Revelations can happen because of prayer but remember our God is a living God who impacts the earth and our lives directly now, if you want to read a faith story on prayer I have posted my testimony to encourage others.

Now you know a little bit more about prayer I encourage every reader to pray everyday and see what God can do for you in your life or others around you. Never give up on prayer because you never know when God might guide you or answer them and the power of prayer in the masses can be even more effective.

You might still be wondering this is great but where do I begin. I'm going to post some daily example prayers to help you out, remember though you can speak however formally or informally you want God loves you and is just happy to have your heart connecting and speaking to him.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for this day. Thank you that I am a witness to your creation and I have the joys of being in it. Thank you for Jesus and that you gave us your only son, and thank you that you are all loving God who's grace and mercy is so mighty you forgive us of any sin. Thank you for the Holy Spirit and that it lives inside me, use me as a vessel to others I come into contact with who don't yet know your greatness. I pray that you will guide me in wisdom so I get to know more about you and who are are, I pray that your truths are set deep in my heart and that I know your love for me. I also pray that you can guide me onto the path you have desired for me and that you use me to guide others. Thank you that you know my situation in life right now and thank you that you make all things work together for my good. I lift up my heart to you right now Jesus I ask that you work within me to become more like you.

In Jesus' Almighty Name Amen

Bible Study of the Gospel According to John Continued: John 3

Continuing on with my bible study of John, my last post is John: 1-2 and this study is on John: 3-4 to it's time again to get your bibles out and get to know Gods word. If you haven't read the first post of my bible study guide I would recommend going back now to the first one. Remember before we read the word of God it's always good to pray about our study. If you are a new Christian and find it hard knowing what to pray about for a bible study, I have some prayer examples in my first post.

John 3:1-21

As always I'll begin my study with summarising what goes on in these verses. My summary and outlook of this passage is below. Make your own summary and view on this passage after reading it.

Nicodemus come to Jesus asking about him, Jesus explains that you must be born again of the spirit and to believe in gods only son, if you are to enter heaven. This passage is very powerful and speaks great truth of gods mercy towards mankind.

It's then always good the reflect on what you've just read through question. I have set up a few questions for you to think about.

- “But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.” John 3:21 what do you think the truth is?

- Do you think this resembles baptism? If so how important is it to get baptised?

- Do you have to believe in Jesus to get baptised or can anyone get baptised? Do you think there is an age limit on baptism?

- Does getting christened count as believing and getting baptised?

- “This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.”John 3:19 the darkness people love do you think this indicates sin? In your own life are there any sins or temptations you find hard to stop? Any bad habits? How can this passage encourage you to come to the light?

John 3:22-36

In the same way I will summarise this verse in my own words.
Jesus became baptising, and everyone went to him not John . John was not angry he knew Jesus had a duty by God, and that settles him so he is not jealous.

-Do you think John Disciples were jealous?

-John knew his duty by God, what do you think your duty by God is? You may need to look through the bible to find this, Genesis mentions this and others. But Genesis is a good start.

-Johns heavenly gift was Baptism, we all have godly gifts reflect on what you think yours is?

Study Guide on John 1-2

During my time away I've had lots of spare time where I can read my bible. Anyone travelling as a Christian will know it's an excellent place and time to spend time with God. If you are new to the bible I've set up a study which will aid you through the process of expanding your knowledge about our Father. I think starting with the disciples account of Jesus is a great place to start, so in fact you could start with any Matthew, Mark, Luke or John. I decided to start with John so here is my study to help you through the whole of John. You can take this study as fast or as slow as you want, but remember a good tip when it comes to studying the bible is preparing with prayer. Take your time before each study to pray to god asking these important things, I've written some easy prayers to help you if you don't know where to begin with it all:

-God thank you that today I have the chance to read from your word, help me whilst reading your word to understand your scripture and help me to apply this scripture into my day to day life. Amen

-God thank you that I get the opportunity that I have to learn your word. Help me when reading your word let me take it in fully and learn from it, allow it to sink truths into my heart of your promises over my life. Help me to feel refreshed in spirit after reading your word designed for me. Amen

-God I am coming to you now to learn from you and gain in wisdom your desires for me, thank you for the interest you take in my life thank you that you are my Heavenly Father who loves me, thank you the access we have into getting to know you more. Amen

John 1 - John 2:1-13

Read each section of John 1 and write in your own words a summary of John. I find it useful to write the date of when you studied this so you can personally reflect.

List the 4 disciples Jesus gathers and who they are. It's good to note that all these 4 men come from the same town.

I've set up some questions in order to help you think more about the passages.

-why didn't Jesus perform his first miracle in front of everyone at the wedding?
-how did Jesus help his disciples become more faithful?
-what significance does Jesus' miracle have?
-what can we learn from Jesus by having disciples/friends in Christ to share our experiences with? And why is it important?

John 2:13-25

As you did in John 1 read the passage and in your own words write a summary of what you have read. Try keep it short so when you reflect its easier for you.
This is an example of a summary:

This passage is about when Jesus got upset when he discovered his fathers temple was being used as a market. He also predicts the future and knows his own destiny.

As before I have questions for you to think about this passage:

-what is the Passover festival?
-why is Jesus' "body a temple?" What does this mean?
-Is our body a temple?
-how do we know that Jesus is aware of his own destiny through this passage? And why is knowing this significant?
-what do we learn about Jesus and who he is as a person in John2:25?

Guide to Ubud, Bali on a a budget

So if you haven't already visited Kuta or on your way out of Ubud you have a couple days there check out my top tips for Kuta on my previous blog post. However, if your seeking to find hidden temples or want to go on breathtaking walks or treks, or if you're just there for the monkeys then Ubud is a perfect central point and I'm assured you'll have lots to explore.

I'm going to split this guide in top 5 attractions and things to do, then my top 5 restaurants and hostels. Beginning with things to do in Ubud:

1. Everyone hears about this place but when you visit it you will understand why everywhere online votes it the number one attraction to Ubud, and that is the monkey forest sanctuary. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity you will get to really get up, close and personal to as many monkeys as your heart desires, safely knowing it's also an ethical place and environment for them to be in. I spent just under 6 hours here just spending time and enjoying having monkeys climb over me, there is also a beautiful stream to see in the sanctuary with ancient amazing Komodo statues. A tip for if you visit is by your bananas outside of the forest as they are much cheaper, but don't bring nuts as you will get told off by the staff for this. But if you forget like I did its 10,000R for a small bunch of 4, which very quickly makes you a target and they will soon be gone.

2. Mount Batur; this mountain is actually a volcano and it is active. The tours up here for very pricey so if it's just two of you going up the volcano get a taxi to give you a lift to the bottom of the mountain and sneak in behind another group and you won't be noticed and if you're scarred off by reviews online- the tour guides do not get angry at you for it, even though it says they do. This is a sunrise tour but don't be disappointed if you don't see it as it is usually misty up there. However I just did it for the hike, there are wild monkeys at the top so don't be seen wandering with food because they can attack you. It's also amazing to see the burnt old lava when you're at the top as you can see a large black patch going all the way down into the village. Book a tour with your hostel it should cost 350,000R if your hostel sells it for more then simply just book via another hostel.

3. The ridge walk, this is slightly unknown to the tourists walk and it's beautiful if you do actually want a 100% chance of seeing a sunrise or sunset. There are cheap restaurants up there too. It's an easy walk and must more for a beginner. The entrance to this walk is outside a hotel called iBau which is strange but it is signposted. This is a lovely undiscovered place and I can't stress how free and enjoyable it is- great for anyone wanting to do a walk on a budget.

4. Visit a Coffee Plantation even if you're not into coffee! This is another free activity but it's so great you get lovely treetop views and get to try coffees or teas you didn't even know existed, an unusual one was sweet potato coffee. Bali is also home to the most expensive coffee in the world which is the only taster you have to pay for if you want too, this coffee actually comes from an animal where they keep in cages at the plantations they only keep one captive for tourists to see, and sometimes they are small cages- don't support these ones, if it's in bad conditions leave and go next door to the next plantation. If you're into spiders this is also a great visit as you can ask the caffeine buzzing staff to get you down a spider from out the fronts of the coffee shop and hold one, they are completely non poisonous and identify as the common Balinese Spider.

5. The Bali markets are a joy to go round if you like finding good deals. I'm not the hustle type so I find them quite hard sometimes but if it helps you should be able to get 2 pairs of shorts for 100,000R - if that helps people who don't enjoy bargaining have a sense of what is fair to pay. You can get lost in all the clothes so save a good day to go round these markets whilst squeezing in the water temple which was my favourite temple. It's hard to find but soon as you find Starbucks just go through the shop and you will get to the temple- typical that Starbucks got in there.

Ubud is fairly expensive for eating and sleeping so I will keep this brief but for those who need help finding good priced accommodation and food read this:

1. Stay at joker hostel 2 it's really cheap and one night a week it's free Balinese styled dinner, they also have great free breakfasts of either scrambled egg with toast and fruit or chocolate and banana pancakes also with water melon if you want it. They serve free tea and coffee all day long and you have full use of the kitchen if you want to cook something for yourself.

2. If you want to experience Balinese food a really yummy cheap place is panorama hotel/restaurant. I find it so delicious here I visited more than once, the inside looks a bit abandoned as every time I went I was the only one their but don't let this put you off as their curries are so good and their Balinese noodles.

3. Fancy a western styled dish? Next to joker hostel 2 their is an Italian, don't go there unless you have money as 2 doors down there is another Italian ristorante and it's half the price. It's e cheapest place in Ubud for a pizza or pasta, they also have a snooker table and a dart board if you want to just relax with your new travelling friends. Tip: if you like coffee the coffee milkshake or the honey and vanilla special smoothie- they are so so good.

I hope you have an amazing time in Ubud it truly is a special place to visit which is full of hidden treasures. I hope you enjoy sharing my favourite things to do in Ubud and find them just as exciting and beautiful.

Guide to Kuta, Bali on a budget

So I heard that Bali was a cheap place so I thought it was an excellent location to choose, and the location is excellent but the prices are not so. However I decided to put a guide together so you don't have to roam the area looking for cheap hostels which are still nice and cheap places to eat, which consumes most of my budget.

So if your a surfer or a water park fanatic this is a great place for you! It is home to the 2nd best water park in the world and number 1 in Asia,for $25 it is well worth checking out. So here is my top 5 tips:

1. Waterbom this is the water park I mentioned earlier and it's home to 3 capsule drop rides, if you don't know what that is or haven't experienced one it will give you the shock of a lifetime I found them scarier than skydiving! Tip- if at waterbom don't pay the prices of the food inside and take water with you, there are no drinking stations which I think is really bad. If you're looking for a quick place to eat outside of waterbom. I recommend Pizza Hut it has a salad bar which contains pasta and everything good you need! A tip about Pizza Hut is 1 salad bowl is way more than you need, share this between two or three people, they don't seem to mind this; even if you feel it is a bit cheeky.

Now I don't just want to talk about waterbom but if you are planning a visit check out bedbunkers hostel it is right next door as is $1 a night. Don't book this off of booking.com or hostel world because when you turn up its cheaper and you get the chance to earn yourself up to 60% off your $1 room, by tagging them in a photo on Instagram or Facebook or leaving them an honest review on trip advisor. Each one you do entitles you to 20% off your room fee, perfect for anyone who needs somewhere super cheap and nice to stay!

2. When visiting kuta lunch or dinner can seem very expensive especially if your by the beach. I recommend walking in land for 20 minutes and you can experience amazing Balinese food for under $1, it costs 14,000R - great for any traveller and it's super yummy.

3. My favourite place to stay in Kuta was Eco living hostel. They have an adorable dog called Dora the Explorer and they are 2 mins from amazing restaurants. If you do happen to stay hear if you ask staff where to eat they will recommend a Chinese place which they will direct you too. I don't think this place had a great variety and is still over priced considering next door to it is so much better. If you have time check both of them out. Also next door to Eco living is a cheap smoothie shop which are fresh- the avocado shake is to die for!

4. The beach is a must see! Even if you are not a surfer as the waves seem quite scary here, just find a sun bed and enjoy soaking up your tan. It's a great beach as you can see the airport so you see the planes landing almost in the ocean- and it doesn't ruin the noise of the waves so it's a cool sight to see. Also the waves are amazing to witness I have never seen barrel rolls like them the sheer power of these waves are a must experience!

5. If you are in Bali for a while and you are travelling more than just Kuta: Here is the place to find a super market and bulk up for the rest of your time in Bali. There super markets are more like wholesalers so you can buy lots of 3 in 1 coffee sachets for a good price or whatever takes your fancy. Maybe Oreos and fizzy soda. However wait to the Ubud markets to get clothing as its not a cheap place for clothes.

I hope you enjoy Kuta it's a nice beachy place to visit, but I recommend only 5-7 days here. If you're into drinking cocktails and good night life check out sky bar, I didn't go personally but other travellers raved about it, they also have a great selection of world wide known DJs visiting frequently, which I was slightly gutted that I missed.

My Testimony- My Path to Christ

So I thought it was about time I got my Testimony out there into the open waters of the world. But before I do spread the word of how Jesus saved me, I wanted to touch on a couple of things. When I was reading a book 'Where is God when it hurts' by Phillip Yancy I learnt that vulnerability isn't always a bad thing. Being vulnerable especially to God is a great quality to have. It's something we can all work on being more of, but it also has a great truth and honesty to it. Being vulnerable in the right areas of your life can help you to grow more into the Christ like figure God has set us out to be. So through my honesty and vulnerabilities I hope I can share with you my testimony which might strike hope into the hearts of whoever read it. It's going to be a long journey so strap yourself in for the worthwhile ride, but I'll try make it as short and sweet as I can.

I'll start off with my childhood and family life. There have always have be strobe lights of God trying to get in touch with my soul, but most of them I ignored, until it became too profound I had no other option but to listen. The first thing I can remember about God was being in awe and fascination of what all the fuss was about, who is Jesus? And why and how is this ancient book still relevant now? I remember pondering this just as a small child. I must of been 6 or 7 when I asked my non-christian family, if I could go to church. I had questions in my mind that kept me up all night. Around the same time of asking this question I remember staying up most nights worrying about death, it all became a much to scary thought to process. One night soon after I asked if I could go to church, I had to wake my parents. I was a young child and needed the safe touch of my parents to calm my thoughts, I was tired and my brain which was going in circles was not helping and making me distraught with tears. I remember my dad soothing me and comforting me that I was a long time off of dying and that I didn't need to worry just yet. He waited until I was asleep before he left my room.

My dad was hugely helpful that night and every time it came into my mind I would remind myself of what he told me. However, this discomfort of death never went away fully, I remember having some sort of ease that my true answered would come from going to church, and this was still at the age of 6 or 7. Unfortunately, the answer my parents gave me when asking could I attend Sunday school, was no. I remember when I was 4 or 5 I attended for a short while although I'm not sure how or why I came to attending as my family are a family of non-believers and I would even go as far as calling them Atheists. However, there was a member of my extended family who was a Christian, a born again Christian and that was my auntie. She continually showed me gods love through Christmas presents, birthday presents and prayers, she prayed for my sister an I an awful lot. I am aware of this now.

A second thing that struck me at this age was an assembly we had at school one day. I was in year 3 and We had a new headmaster leading our school. His name was Mr Garret, it took me a while to warm to him and I'm not sure at that age if I ever did. He had been at our school just over a term, he brought a lady in to share her testimony to the school. At this point in my life I didn't even know what a testimony was I just remember never forgetting hers. She told us she had actually died and was brought back to life thanks to the hospital staff working that day. She explained how it wasn't her time yet and that God was wanting her to pursue a task he had set on earth for her. In great depth and description she told us everything from what she saw and the sounds and tones of his mighty voice. She ended with saying: never fear death. For obvious reasons these words clung to me but I just couldn't understand how someone could not fear the raging anguish of death. This was my first encounter with the Holy Spirit, I felt something shift inside of me, something was missing within me but I didn't know how to fill it.

Time went by and these thoughts of death were in the back of mind they just didn't seem to bother me like they used too. My teenage years were fast approaching, and in school I always seemed to be the bold one, the one that slightly stood out from the rest. I had courage and I came across as fearless. So when I eventually stepped into my teens, this fearlessness and courage didn't come without consequences.

I was 13 years old and hated school, in fact I thought I hated education but I now realise it was just that high school that I disliked. I was at an all girl convent school. My teachers compared me to my sister a lot, always saying she achieved greater than I was. I hated being the younger sister. I felt a great pressure of having to live up to same standards and expectations,trying to mould myself into the same shape as her which seemed impossible. For starters she was much thinner than I was, with beautiful golden locks. But it wasn't all about looks, she had a small but great friendship group too, although she had problems with some of the girls she has friends she could go too during the toughness of the 'bully' girls. Whereas, I was between friendships not knowing who I could trust or turn too. I recall opening up to a minor few and they just spread my thoughts like a wildfire burning through the corridors.

The thoughts in my mind were frightening, my overall suppressed feelings I felt throughout my body were dark. I felt alone and as stated had no one to turn too. That's when I started self harming, finally a sense of relief. My body was physically feeling what I mentally felt and I felt in control. It was my little comfort area, with my sleepless nights increasing my inflictions became my more than close friend. School was a drag, it would come to 5am I could watch the sunrise and I'd finally be drifting off to sleep until not soon after 45 mins of rest I was up again for the day ahead. It came to these points where I was sleeping in class, if not admitting myself down to the nurses office to just sleep.

I was in year 8, we had a school trip coming up and even though it was still school and still education it was at least a break from the classroom and teachers. Their were new girls in my class this year and they seemed to be climbing the popularity ladder at a fast rate. They had gained control over the girls who awed in their looks and followed what they said or did.

The day of the school trip, a day that begun to changed my school life. This 'group' of girls of course got to the back of the bus first and they kept a spare seat, I was last to board the coach and there were plenty of spare seats still available. Strangely the popular girls called out my name for me to join them. We were half way through the journey and our coach broke down, during this time the conversation was growing between the popular girls and I. It was getting warm in the back of the bus and was wanting to pull my sleeves of my jumper up but couldn't for obvious reasons. The girl sitting next to me went to touch and look at my watch which I was wearing, my watch was covering some cuts which my jumper didn't cover, she noticed them but didn't say much just stared deep into my eyes.

The next day in class I arrived at school, with thoughts pushing back and forth to what might happen, but I wasn't prepared for what happened next. I came came into class and everyone went quiet, I could tell everyone was just talking about me. I ignored it and did my normal thing, put my bag in my locker. I turned around from my locker to take my seat, and there circled by my whole class I stood and stared. Without a word coming from my mouth they lifted up the sleeves of my jumper, pointed in shock with a few smirks and they were asking why? why? why? Helplessly and crying I couldn't answer. I stared at two girls who I thought were my friends and they blanked my eyes contact. I ran out of the class and straight to sister Patrick our school nurse. I spent the rest of the day there. From that day I knew I couldn't step foot in that school again.

That night I came home and didn't speak a word to my family, I didn't do this intentionally I just felt numb and the feelings weren't vanishing. My parents could tell things were up. A couple days later still being oddly quiet at home, my parents came up to my room, both of them. I usually would be nervous by this but I wasn't this time, they said they felt I was unhappy at school and suggested I changed. My body filled with relief, although they knew nothing that happened and still don't to this day, they did and said the best words I'd ever heard. They found a school nearer to home and I was thrilled with excitement to be making a change of school. When I told my classmates I was moving they stopped treating me differently and treated me normally again as they knew they were a big motive behind this school change.

A new start, a new me. At this school I was blessed with friends. I hadn't self harmed in a while but was still drawn to the addiction of it I brought upon myself. One down night I made the decision to do it once more. This time it was noticed again at school, but by a Christian girl who prayed for me. At the time I found it stupid as I didn't believe in God but it was nice to know someone cared about me, and wasn't out to get me. We joined in hiking together on d of e both bronze and silver, and I mocked her for believing in God. I didn't know but she was a light shining to me she stayed calm and always comforted me with the truths of God. She was the only Christian in her family, kinda like me now and I always think of her as an inspiration. How she always showed great care towards me makes me reflects how much God was working through her desperately trying to reach out to me.

A friend from my old school invited me to a party of hers, and I decided to attend. This was the next stage of my journey. I met two people that night, one caught my eye and was going to turn out to be my boyfriend but my 14 year old self didn't know that yet. After this party me and this boy met up continually, he was a bad boy and I liked that. He didn't conform to society and he had rebellious ideas he never pursued but he was interesting, we shared the same taste in music and laughed together.

He was 2 school years ahead of me and his friendship group was moving into college. As we were dating he introduced me to his friends, he also introduced me to drugs. We started smoking weed and then it moved onto harder drugs, quite quickly. The young self that I was shouldn't have wound up here. Time went by and I ended up breaking up with this boy I was dating because his drug taking got to a whole new level and I needed out. Still feeling desperate for love I needed someone, I started dating his friend. Not because I was taking revenge he just seemed to be better suited to me. He was much funnier and had a kinder heart, and was much calmer on the drug front, which was probably a big factor for me.

He hated smoking, so I quit for him and he came to the realisation that he didn't want to take drugs anymore so we stopped, and it was nice just him and I enjoying each other's company. We had been dating for just over half a year, I'd finished school and had my prom which was beautiful and surrounded with true best friends I was starting to feel more content with life. But I was wrong so wrong and if God was going to get hold of me something big needed to break through into my life, firstly starting with coming between me and who I thought was my first love was up. Which to me seemed near impossible, we doted over one another. On reflection I can see the relationship wasn't healthy, only because we both weren't mentally stable, but acted like we were, we weren't right for one another.

This relationship was all done outside of my parents will and sight, as they had told me they didn't like him, but then they didn't like any of my boyfriends and I thought this was because they were snobby and arrogant. I couldn't see that they were truly caring for me, I just thought they would only approve of someone who came from good education, not a good background, a good education. I thought that was all they cared about, I didn't think for a minute that it was for my own good.

Then came a part of my life that would stick with me forever, and it wasn't Jesus just yet. It was my worst day on Earth, I've never felt so vulnerable and shaken to my core. I can't actually describe in words how I felt but if I could it would be pure destruction and the feeling of huge pain and feeling trapped. Let me begin with how this day changed my life forever. It was June 13th 2013 (who said 13 was an unlucky number haha).

I'm not going to go into great depth as its uneeded if you know me you can always ask me but I arrived to an empty house only my boyfriend who I'm going to call 'John' for stories sake and 2 children one of which was a baby. Drugs were taken, for me I was unknowing of the drug I hadn't heard of it ever, or knew it affects. I was newly turned 15 and had no idea. It was late when this took place. 'John' knew exactly what drug it was and everything about it, but I don't know if he knew you could trip badly on it, but he was about to discover that.

The drugs were taking its course and it wasn't going well for him. Anger grew so I went out for some fresh air, he didn't like that so he beat me, hard with a snooker cue and threw snooker balls at me. That was the beginning of the abuse. The children were also targeted, which I tried in my hardest ways to prevent. I got one child to lock herself away in the bathroom that's when a phone got threw at me causing my head to split. I didn't have much of a surface area to run but long story short my last injury occurred by having my head cut open by a microwave dish being smashed over me. I ran or more like painfully stumbled into his room, I went over to the window looked out the window and remembering my vision being beyond bad, not only were colours and trees vibrant and moving but I was in immense pain and it's something I will never forget, especially the pain it even haunts me now sometimes and I feel like I can physically feel it. I screamed out in prayer to God the only thing unusually making me feel like I wasn't alone even though I didn't believe in him. I prayed that I would not be left hopeless and helpless in this situation, that I would come out the other end of it and not die, I wasn't ready to die. I then passed out on the bed for a good few hours.

I was trapped here for a long time. They had no house phone and 'John' would not let me have access to the only phone in case I called for help. I waited, and screamed and cried, I screamed and cried more than I ever have done before. I was torn but lucky to be alive, I will also never forget how distorted my face was and his thickly covered it was in blood when I looked in the mirror.

Finally. He was asleep, I took the phone and called the only thing I knew would help save me, the emergency services. Well they let me down, not once but twice on my third call to them they decided to come out to see me. That was then the beginning of a whole other type of trauma, they didn't treat me as a victim but a criminal, that was hard for my 15 year old self to comprehend. I knew I hadn't done everything right, yes I should of mentioned things to them but I was trying to amend it and no one could recognise that. No one knew the pressure I was under not only the pressure but the huge fear that 'John' had casted over me as he threatened that I wouldn't call for help or he would make it worst for me, but also the pressure that I had to get everything right as much as I could. He scarred me and I couldn't look at him. But the ambulance staff didn't mention that when it got more serious and into courts hands. I found the so called justice system had failed me on a number of occasions, but I know it will never be justice or perfect because it is run by imperfect humans.

Years after this event and it was still coiling up into my life trying to destroy me. I didn't feel I had people to turn to at points no one would ever understand, the person who would understand the most might be John but he didn't have any physical scars from that night so not even the person who was there could understand what I went through. For years I got dreadful flashbacks and nightmares that tormented me and shook me again to a core making me feel like I did on the night this occurred. But I was safe and I always reminded myself that.

It took me a long long time to realise not all men are out to hurt women and sometimes I still have to tell myself that there are good guys out there. From this day I knew how important raising awareness was for good causes and this is probably why I get so passionate about others lives especially if they face abuse because I know what it was like to stare death in the face and it's scary.

I then met my best friend his name is Ben. He was the messenger to me from the word of God, he knew my story, my past but he didn't always tell me he was Christian. Ben, I and grace my other best friend were the perfect trio, we spent all of our time together. A while into our friendship ben told us both he was a Christian, grace didn't really care she is very accepting of everyone, however for me who was an atheist it didn't sit well, I was encased with anger and reacted terribly to this news. It angered me as I felt my whole life was cursed with bad luck and therefore if there was a god he didn't seem very loving because why me?

Ben taught me Jesus could relate to me, him and I had both faced prosecution and rejection, I had never considered that Jesus and I could be alike, but we were in many ways. This is when ben asked if I wanted to start a relationship with Jesus, I was unsure but had nothing to lose so I asked how. He said all you have to do is ask God to reveal himself to you, I didn't know how God would reveal himself to me would it be through a change of heart, or would he send some Angel to come down and blind me with white light. I honestly had no idea but I also didn't have much faith that anything would happen a mere mustard seed size faith I had. I knew that the smallest amount could move mountains and change lives, but I was about to truly experience this for myself.

I told myself I would give God 3 chances to reveal himself to me. At the time I was struggling with an eating disorder and my mind was mainly taken up by having focus on this, it consumed my thought life. However I still thought about all ben had said to me and it kept popping into my mind more and more. One time I was at home and I prayed for God to reveal himself; but nothing. On another day I then tried again whilst driving for God to reveal himself; again nothing occurred. My mustard seed faith was even decreasing in size but my will to see if it was true hadn't, so I wanted to wait until something made me pray my last chance of a prayer for God to reveal himself.

I was at work it was coming up to noon and I was making a tea for myself and a coffee for my boss, I apparently always made the best lattes for her. Her shop was in a remote village by the sea and it was a catering business and a cake shop, we often had customers lined up to collect food so we would know who was coming in and out of the shop. Sometimes we had a bulk of builders come in to order sandwiches but not much else, if people did come through the door I would know who they were as we always had the same old ladies come in for a scone or a sausage roll. I was stirring my tea and I shut my eyes to pray, I don't know why I chose at work but I did I said the most arrogant prayer out of the three I had prayed and I said God I'm starting to believe you are not real, so if you really are true, which your not, reveal yourself now. Amen.

Before I had even finished making my bosses coffee a lady walked in so I stopped what I was doing and went to serve her. However she wasn't a typical customer to come in and order a scone, well she was she came in looking a bit nervous I greeted her and asked what she wanted. She said she was waiting for her husband to finish at the dentist so she was coming in to pick up a pasty for him for lunch. I only now just realised there is no dentist nearby , especially not in walking distance which she was and she was far to old to be walking a lot distance. Anyway she came in, still appearing nervous I noticed she had a cross broach, a beautiful one with purple gems on it, I told her that I loved it. Her response was out of the ordinary and was the point that was truly life changing.

She responded by saying, I thought you would notice that and I'm glad you like it. This straight away had me confused. She proceeded by taking out her bible and not having to look down as the verse seemed to be memorised. But she said a verse that stated about making contact with Jesus' father and that he was also my father and he wanted contact with me, she said he was pleased and wanted me to go down the path he had desired for me. She quickly put her money for the pasty on the counter and scurried out the door, giving me no chance to respond.

Out of shock I said to my boss can I take a phone call, I was so sure that it was God speaking to me through this women. I rang ben up and whilst standing outside in the glorious sunshine I told him about what has just taken place. I then restarted my bosses coffee and told her, she said when her husband comes in you must tell him, as he was a non practicing Christian so I did. Since then I never looked back my whole belief system was changed in the split of a second and I felt the Holy Spirit for the first time and it was good, it brought me joy. Since that day I asked ben if I could attend his church and up on the hill, our favourite spot on earth I gave my life to Jesus by praying with ben. It was amazing to glorify God for the first time in my life and I left that day with praise in my heart.

It doesn't stop there, I was struggling still with the consuming thoughts of my eating disorder and I didn't want it there anymore it was taking up all my time and I said to God I wanted to spend my thought life with him and not this evil disorder. Ben then prayed for healing over me, he was my only Christian friend so I could turn to him with anything, that's when I felt God constantly pursuing my life and highly involved with it because since then I hadn't had a single thought enter my mind about my eating disorder. It no longer consumed me and I began enjoying what was on my plate more than ever and I was thankful for it.

Now in hindsight I can see and reflect that God was always trying to reach out to me through others, and this is why it's so important to always reach out in faith to your non Christian friends or family you never know what bible verse may change their lives. So continue praying for them and allow them the time and you the time for gods timings, as they are perfect and his will, will take place.

Thank you for reading my testimony and I will leave you with that; my story of faith.

Memory Making in Siargao

I've spoken about my 'Guide to Siargao', which you can read here on my blog. However, I haven't recorded my personal memories which I experienced on this filipeano island. I've selected a few highlights, enjoy the read:

Moonlight Hostel

I'm starting with this memory, not only because it was the first one made on the island, but because it was also kinda the craziest. So we had booked our first AirBnB, with no idea what we were expecting and booking it only a day in advance with no confirmation, we didn't know what we were getting ourselves into, but we were soon going to discover.

We got into the taxi from the airport and with no address and tried to find Moonlight. Our taxi spoke to a few locals to try work out where Moonlight was, being a small island he thought he knew all the hostels and homestays, but Moonlight seemed to be a new listing. One guy we asked fortunately turned out to be the son of the owner of moonlight, so we followed him on his bike. Her son was very useful sorted us out with motorbikes to rent.

When we turned up we we met the owner, named Mama Vivian, she didn't stop talking it was annoying but I stayed polite with a smile on my face. We got a room with an ensuite it was more than we were asking for, we were the only people here and it seemed like the whole hostel was still undergoing building work. A Danish guy called Anton turned up at the hostel but it seemed there were no more rooms available, he ended up sleeping on our floor.

We were then chucked out of our room as it started to get popular and more and more people kept turning up, wondering where we were going to sleep as there wasn't even room for Anton (the Danish guy.) This was on our third day. We watched a team of guys building bunkbeds right into the night, these were our next beds. Two were made in time by 10pm and we were the hamsters to test them out. They worked through the night and by the morning there were 5 bunkbeds in total. They moved them into our room, we were chucked out again as the room was getting painted, ends up they only painted half the celling and nothing else. I would have preferred it if they didn't, not only was our room covered in saw dust we now had the headache of fresh paint emerging.

By this stage a Canadian/Korean girl named holly arrived and us 4 made a great team. We laughed out loud about of this so called hostel as it was just a joke scenario, this made it all the worthwhile; an experience indeed. However odd the hostel seemed, we ended up extending our stay each night because the people made it an enjoyable place and we got used to the sawdust, it seemed to become our home from home; thanks to the people we experienced this hostel with. I've never been so unsure about where I will be resting my head for the night but I also was very strangely content at the same time, and that's the end of my memory at Moonlight. It'll be making an appearance later on in my stories.

Power-cuts and Night Rides

Onto the second memory, we'd been on the island a few nights now and it was dinner time. We ventured off to find a place to eat on our motorbikes. I'll start with them, our motorbike had no lights on it, well it did but they didn't work and the streets have no streetlights; so this was going to interesting. Using our flashlights on our phones which gave us he visibility of a mere meter ahead of us our adventure began. Dan and I came across a lovely half Italian place, I would class it as half Italian because they didn't seem to have a genre when it came to the menu but it was predominantly Italian just without pizza hence the half.

Our meals had just arrived and they looked delicious we started to tuck in and we were under half way through eating and suddenly all the power went not just at our restaurant, the whole island. We were lucky our food had arrived otherwise we wouldn't have had dinner. The blackout lasted the whole night and it meant it was even darker, the streets didn't have the occasional shop light gleaming onto the road, which helps a lot when you have no lights on your bike. But back to the restaurant all the waiters and waitresses had to grab there phones and we had a personal light holder above us as we ate. It was hilariously awkward but some what an enjoyable experience, before everyone was eating with their partners or friends and each kept themselves to themselves, now the whole restaurant was all talking together in one large conversation. It's amazing how a blackout can make socialisation come to a whole new level and allows meeting the people a table next to you so much easier and funnier.

Surfing

One day, 'the team' (including Dan, holly, Anton and I) decided to go surfing. We got Mama Vivian's son to take us to a secluded space, which he really did. The place he took us to was called secret spot, we had to trek 10 mins from the road through a off beaten jungle path whilst holding our surf boards to get to the bay.

The surf was okay, better for beginners, which Dan and holly were but it was on rock not sand which wasn't great. Holly went out first as her and I were sharing a surf board, and she didn't manage to get up on the board but her efforts were incredible. She came back out of the water and we switched, I surfed through two heavy rain storms but this didn't mean I gave up. I had never surfed on a hard board and one actually my size, because in the past I'd always used foam and shared boards with people who were 6 ft. So it was unusual being on such a small board, and it not being foam which I can now say I way prefer. I finally was tired and went back in, the boys stayed out in the sea and that's when holly told me she lost her motorbike key, we came to the conclusion they were in her pockets when she went surfing and had lost them.

We had no idea how we were going to get her home with her surf board. It was also not going to be a fun conversation with Mama Vivan's son who was surfing with us. Holly took the balls she had and straight up told him he responded with nothing else just 'holy shit'. He stayed really calm which surprised all of us. But it was chill in the end as it turns out he can hot wire a bike and get it started, which was rad to watch. As Holly's bike came to life, his own bike then didn't. All awkwardly waiting as he was the only one who knew the route back his bike suddenly came to life after constant trying for five minutes. (He didn't want to hot wire his nice bike, compared to our slightly shitty ones). And that's the end of my memory of the surfing and losing keys experience; onto the next.

Flip-Flops

I didn't want to give the memory away by the title and that's why it's just called flip-flops. It had been a good week or so being on the island, and I was shocked just by how many random shoes I'd spot everywhere you look, it was unavoidable. I always pondered why this was and I was about to find out, rather holly was. We all decided that tonight we weren't going to take our bikes and visit a happy hour down at Kermit's (which apparently has the best pizza on the island). Their cocktails were lush, their pizzas were okay.

Anyway it had been heavily raining that day and if you've read my previous blog post about Siargao, you will know that there are no drainage systems on the roads, which made them a mud bath. We took the least muddiest route and we all ventured out in our flip flops. Suddenly, we came to one puddle which blocked the whole road and the only way to the other side of this extremely large puddle was to go through it. Fortunately everyone was in shorts because it ended up to be a knee deep puddle.

The mud was thick and sticky and I took my flip flops off unafraid of what I would stand on, I knew the mud would make it a suction for my shoes. I stupidly didn't tell everyone else in the group to do this, and holly already on her second pair of flip flops whilst being on the island was walking and boom. Her flip flop came off. We then were not only knee deep but arm deep searching for her one flip flop, a good 5 minutes gave by and we gave up. That's when I learnt why so many random flip flops were scattered round the island and Holly's now add to that collection

Panda

I didn't want to end my 'Memory Making in Siargao' on a sad note, so this is my second to last snippet of my memory highlights. You might be thinking pandas? In Siargao? Sorry to disappoint but there are no pandas in this part of Asia; but is in about an animal.

One afternoon after arriving back at Moonlight from a glorious day at our private beach that we found, I was in the kitchen filling up my water bottle where I heard an animal whimpering, I wasn't sure what animal it was but I wasn't going to leave it until I found the source of the noise.

At first I thought the whimpering was coming from the roof, so I went round the back of the kitchen which was just a dumping ground of rubbish. I followed the noise and found a litter of abandoned puppies. I found two adorable puppies, they were so soft and so small. I picked them both up and took them to outside my room, which was upstairs and out of direct sunlight. I made them a little cardboard pen and made sure they had water supply. One of the many dogs at moonlight followed me upstairs when carrying the puppies and I came to the realisation that they were hers. She sat in the pen with them and fed them her milk, I was so happy that they weren't abandoned.

I made it my priority was to keep the mother healthy and the two puppies. Moonlight are quite poor in helping their animals, there were some that were skinny. I immediately got Anton my Danish friend to drive me to the nearest pet store to buy some puppy food, this is higher in fat so worked well for even the older dogs that were skinny. We found the store and I bought a bag of food, I split it evenly between the dogs who needed it most.

I then came to the realisation that a litter of 2 puppies was a small number, so I went back round to the heap of rubbish where I found them lying to go look for any more left behind. That's when I saw panda. Panda had moved herself under a heavy wooden box, she was whimpering lots and they were all so young that they were still blind and hadn't opened their eyes yet. I picked her up and was in shock I could see that she was injured but until I picked her up I didn't know the extent of it. She had been attacked by dog, and had wounds all over her, bite marks and one big lasseration to her back, her wounds were riddled with maggots. I didn't take her upstairs to the others I put her on our common room table. Anton came next to me, saw panda lying there and said the words: 'Oh my God.' I immediately had a shaken voice, he then said 'please don't cry' and since those words came out of his mouth I just broke into tears. I felt helpless, I didn't know what to do but in my opinion there was only one thing I could do. Fight for this puppy.

At this time people staying at moonlight were coming home from their day trips to discover an injured barely week old puppy. Some came to help, others just asked questions and others got in the way. One very useful man, who I never asked of his name got his phone out and started googling the best treatment for this puppy. He then went out on his scooter and bought some peroxide. In the mean time I had got some tweezers, a warmed towel for panda to lie on and began taking maggots out of her flesh. The peroxide really helped, it kills the maggots but it takes a while to kill them, but it forces them to the surface so I could grab them with my tweezers. However, this is a really painful treatment for a puppy so young without any painkillers or anything.

Hours in and we were eventually getting somewhere the maggots were lessening, panda had fallen asleep as the pain was too much but I continued to work on her. It got until 9-10pm and we were seriously hungry we hadn't eaten and panda needed a break, I stayed with her whilst the boys went out and brought back some pizzas. They ate first and then Anton took over whilst I could eat, panda needed constant warmth of a hand or she got really scared and cold.

Mama Vivan came in and got angry at us for trying to help this puppy, which made me angry so I snapped at her but apologised all at the same time. The really frustrating thing was was that she had some medication for animals but she kept saying 'its a pain killer it's a pain killer, for dog, for dog'. But I wasn't prepared so stick any needle in her before I googled it, also I wouldn't know the dosage required for a newly born pup.Thank goodness I hadn't done this and fought off mama Vivan as this guy googled it for it it ended up not only to be conjunctivitis medication (so for your eyes) but it was for horses.

It was getting super late and we were all so tired, so I said to everyone that they can go to bed I'll stay here with panda. I did for hours and it looked like there were no maggots left, it was going well but the worst was about to happen. Through all the mosquitos landing and covering me with bites all I could think of was this poor puppy, and suddenly I noticed a patch of eggs that hadn't been cut from her fur, and the teeny tiny maggots where hatching live in front of me. They were instantly burying themselves into her skin and I burst out into a cry. All this hard work and it was going to be never ending, these baby maggots were a tipping point.

For half an hour I thought in depth about doing the right thing for this puppy and it seemed so cruel to leave her in this world, she was suffering immensely and despite my efforts I was fighting a losing battle. In my hands she had two mini heart attacks was still alive. The heart attacks were awful I watched and felt her whole body pulsing to keep alive, she was moving in ways I'd never seen before. After this at 3am I covered her in a clothe took her upstairs and went into my room. Anton heard the door open so was immediately awake and was attentive to care and help the through the whole event, he asked what's up and I said she's got to go, we can't save her we have to do the right thing.

Everyone was aware that it was a life or death situation and knew there would possibly come a point where we might have to kill her. We woke Dan up and they both said to me they would do it but I can't watch or be apart of this bit, they told me to go upstairs so I did I'd said my goodbyes already before I even went into my room, however much I didn't want to. I went onto the balcony sat in the hammock and just cried and cried. I was so sad a puppy I'd been saving for 16 hours. She had been in my hands and I had to give her away to be killed. Panda. Not fun for anyone but especially not for an animal lover/vegetarian that I am; but it was the ethical thing to do.

That is the story of a gorgeous courageous puppy called Panda and I will never forget her.

Motorbikes and Mud

My final story. It was our second to last day in Siargao and we were moving back to Manila the following day. We had run out of cash and the nearest cash point was over an hours drive away. Dan was quite ill and I would go by myself but if I came off I'd have no help so wasn't willing to do this. So we drove to Dapa and it a nice ride. I feel like in Pacifico where we were currently staying it never rains but in Dapa it's always raining.

We got our money and it was hot, Dan decided to take his tank off as it typically began to rain so we pulled over and then continued on our drive. We had gotten to the constructive roads where they were half built. It was really muddy and we reduced our speed to 15kph, Dan was silly and drove directly behind the guy in front leaving breaking distance. But he was about to discover that you will slip if you break on a surface like this, as a car driver I feel I would of known this when in this situation but we can never know how I would have reacted as I wasn't driving. This guy with no surprise slowed down, which meant in order for us to not go into the back of him Dan tapped the breaks.

With no helmets on we fall to the ground skidding with the bike. We got up Dan in shock didn't say much. I tried to lift the bike up but couldn't by myself, this lovely couple with a newborn stopped their bikes and the man helped me lift the bike up. We then left it 5 minutes to cool off and just adjust to our new situation and got back on the now very slippy seated bike, with no mirrors as they were covered in mud and were on our way again. We stopped at a couple places looking for someone with a water supply to wash ourselves down. This Christian family waved at us and we pulled over and they let us use their hose and got us some pure 70% medicinal alcohol to stop infection.

Falling off the bike was now not the worst part, it was the pouring of this alcohol on our wounds. Soon enough the villages children were all standing round staring as Dan (mainly) swore screamed and shouted in pain. He was worst off injury wise than I. We still had a fairly long drive until we reached our bed and breakfast place in Pacifico. But we eventually made it home, with the bike intact which was good as I didn't want to pair to now repair a bike. I found the whole thing fairly amusing other than the fact I now couldn't swim for a while.

I should probably end this post better but that was the end of my memory making in Siargao. I wouldn't exchange these memories for the world as I met some amazing people and had the time of my life!


In Memory Of Panda:

10 Biblical Truths We Need to Know About Animals

The Bible teaches us that God created animals. They aren’t the product of happenstance or fortuitous natural processes any more than humans are. Genesis 1:24-25 says God created the animals, from the beasts of the earth to the creeping insects. Scripture even tells us that the breath of life resides within them (Gen. 7:15). By virtue of our creation in the image of God, we humans are uniquely special in comparison to all of creation, but that does not mean the rest of creation has no value to God or that he doesn’t enjoy it.

When God created animals, he declared their creation to be “good” (Gen. 1:25). At the conclusion of the creation account in Genesis 1, God looked at “all he had made” and declared it “very good” (v. 31). Creation was “very good” when considered in its totality, not only in reference to humans. Humans are the crowning achievement of God’s creative activity, and as his image bearers, we possess something of the divine that nothing else in creation possesses, but we should not let that truth cloud our appreciation for the rest of creation or diminish our responsibilities toward it.

Here, I offer ten biblical truths about animals that should affect how we think about them and how we treat them.

1. God communicates with animals

This is the best explanation for the migration of the animals to Noah’s ark. In Genesis, God told Noah to build an ark in order to save himself, his family, and the land-dwelling creatures from the coming flood. However, he didn’t tell Noah to go out and round up the animals. He told him to bring them into the ark (Gen. 6:19), which meant to simply receive them. When it was time for the flood to begin, the text says the animals “went into the ark to Noah” (Gen. 7:9). The only explanation for the actions of the animals is that God drew them to the ark. God communicated with them directly, and they responded.

Another example of God communicating with animals can be found in the experience of the prophet Elijah. When Elijah fled from Ahab, king of Israel, he went to an area east of the Jordan River. The Bible says God commanded ravens to bring him food while he was there, and they did (1 Kings 17:4-6).

These examples don’t tell us that God is in regular communication with the animals, but they make clear that such communication has occurred. It is certainly plausible that God interacts with animals more than we realize.

2. God cares about the well-being of animals

We often quote Matthew 10:29-31 to emphasize God’s concern for humans. In this passage, Jesus helped his listeners grasp the extent of God’s concern for them: If God cares about the death of a common bird, he certainly cares about the needs of humans. That isn’t all we learn from this passage, however. Jesus also gave us insight into God’s attitude toward animals. True, humans are “more valuable” than a common little bird, but Jesus didn’t say that animals have no value to God. In comparison to humans, the little sparrow has little value, but God still values the life of that little sparrow enough to be moved by its death.

It isn’t just that God notices the sparrow’s death, like one might notice that the wind is blowing. Jesus wanted his listeners to understand that God is emotionally invested in that sparrow. He cares about what happens to it; he just cares more about what happens to people. Once we acknowledge that God is emotionally invested in birds, i.e., animals, as well as humans, we are now talking only about a difference in the degree to which he is, not whether or not he is.

The story of Jonah also offers insight into God’s concern for animals. After Jonah preached and the people of Nineveh repented, Jonah expressed his displeasure at God’s decision not to send destructive judgment on the people. In confronting Jonah about his hard-hearted attitude, God reminded Jonah that not only have 120,000 people been spared, “many animals” were also spared (Jonah 4:11). The well-being of these animals mattered to God.

In addition, Scripture teaches that God is personally involved in feeding the animals. Psalm 104:14 is instructive here. It says God “causes” the grass to grow for the cattle. The Hebrew text uses the causative form of the verb “to grow” to reveal this. God isn’t simply passively watching nature take care of its own. Verse 21 continues this theme when it says the young lions “seek their food from God.” Pulling these individual examples together, the psalmist speaks of animals in general, saying, “They all wait for You (God) to give them their food in due season” (v. 27).

3. God enjoys animals

In Psalm 104:31, the psalmist declared, “Let the Lord be glad in his works.” Clearly the statement speaks broadly of all that God has created, but it is preceded by a long description of God’s interaction with animals—wild goats, rock badgers, beasts of the forest, young lions, animals both small and great (see vv. 18-30). In a few more verses, the psalmist used this same word translated “glad” to describe his own joy in God. He said emphatically, “I shall be glad in the Lord” (Ps. 104:34).

It isn’t difficult to fathom that animals bring God joy when we consider the joy we get from watching our own children. We even enjoy watching animals with whom we have no creative connection. Given that, it is understandable that the one who created all things would enjoy them.

4. Animals reveal God’s sovereignty

When Job complained that God had mistreated him, God pointed to creation to help Job understand his sovereignty. Animals figure prominently in his response to Job’s attempted indictment. God reminded Job that it is he who provides for the animals (Job 38:39-41). He appointed them their place in creation (Job 39:6). God also pointed out that he is more powerful than the feared Behemoth and Leviathan by the very fact that he is their creator (Job 40:19; 41:10). While they may be beyond Job’s reach, they are not beyond God’s.

In response, Job acknowledged God’s sovereignty. He said, “I take back my words and repent in dust and ashes” (Job 42:6). The fact God used examples from the animal world to convince Job of his sovereignty suggests strongly that this is part of God’s intended purpose for his creation of animals. God has built wonder into animals, and by design, they point humanity to him as the great and only sovereign.

5. Animals bring glory and praise to God

In Psalm 148, the psalmist called on everything to praise the Lord. He included in this call sea monsters, beasts, cattle, creeping things and birds (vv. 7, 10). The final verse of the final psalm of the entire psalter reads: “Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord!” (Ps. 150:6). Even though they don’t do so with words, animals still bring glory and praise to God.

By their very existence animals: (1) Point to God as creator. Animals are as much the product of God’s creative energy as any other part of creation. (2) Point to God as love. God loves life so much he creates it in seeming endless variety. (3) Point to God as designer. Animals fill a crucial part of the symbiotic relationship between all of creation. (4) Point to God as artist. Animals are a living display of the natural beauty God has built into creation.

6. Animals are reasoning creatures

Some deny that animals are capable of reasoning. They prefer to credit instinct for their decision making skills. They believe that animals are “as smart as they need to be” to survive. I believe this is simply not accurate. Animals are smarter than they need to be. I have witnessed my dogs on many occasions trying to communicate with me. They make up for their lack of language by finding other ways through their reasoning abilities to communicate their will.

In the Bible, God reveals animal intelligence through the unusual encounter of Balaam with his donkey (Num. 22:21-33). In that incident, the donkey saw the Angel of the Lord standing in the way and moved aside. Balaam became angry with the donkey because it wouldn’t obey him. Yet the Angel of the Lord credited the donkey’s quick thinking for Balaam’s deliverance. He declared, “The donkey saw me and turned aside from me these three times. If she had not turned aside from me, I would surely have killed you” (v. 33). The donkey recognized the danger and made a decision to get out of the way of the Angel, whom Balaam couldn’t even see.

Furthermore, we have all seen animals use tools to get food. They don’t need to use tools to eat. They have sources that don’t require the use of tools, but they have the reasoning capacity to know that a tool will help them get food. Also, we have all seen animals run from danger. How does an animal know it’s in danger? It must understand something about life in order to seek to protect itself. We credit reason for human responses to avoiding danger. Why wouldn’t we credit animals with reason when they do the same thing?

We cannot completely eliminate the concept of instinct as we think about animals, but at the same time, we shouldn’t rule out the evidence that animals are also capable of reason.

7. Animals may have a more acute awareness of spiritual reality than we realise

The incident of Balaam and his donkey brings into focus another insight about animals. It reveals that it is possible for animals to see angels (Num. 22:21-33). In that incident, Balaam was spared death at the hands of the Angel of the Lord because Balaam’s donkey “turned aside” when it saw the angel. The text does not say the Angel of the Lord revealed his presence to the donkey. It tells us simply that the donkey saw the Angel.

Humans see angels when the angels want to reveal themselves. The donkey saw the Angel of the Lord without his self-revelation. In fact, judging from the Angel’s comments to Balaam (see v. 33), the donkey was actually acting contrary to the Angel’s intentions. We could understand it if the Angel said he wanted the donkey to help Balaam avoid the fate he had planned for him. But the text does not say that. A plain reading of the text suggests that the donkey was actually frustrating the plan of the Angel. The donkey saw the Angel without the Angel’s assistance.

This conclusion gains further support when we see that the Lord had to empower the donkey to speak (v. 28). If Moses recognized the need to tell the reader the Lord empowered the donkey to speak, he could just as easily have said the Lord enabled the donkey to see the Angel of the Lord. Yet, he doesn’t tell us that.

While we should not attempt to develop a major doctrine around this single event, it still raises significant questions about our understanding of the relationship of animals to the spiritual world.

8. Animals have the capacity to enjoy life

The psalmist was lighthearted when he described the joy animals feel. In Psalm 104, he said God formed the sea creature Leviathan “to play” in the sea (v. 26). The Hebrew word translated “play” occurs fairly regularly in Scripture. King David used this word to describe his celebration as the ark of God was being brought to Jerusalem (2 Samuel 6:21). He was ecstatic. The psalmist said this beast of the sea can also be ecstatic.

The book of Job supplies additional insight. There, God, himself, described the joy animals experience. He mentioned the ostrich flapping its wings “joyously” (Job 39:13), and the beasts of the field “playing” in their surroundings (Job 40:20).

This isn’t some foreign concept to us. We have all seen animals playing. The testimony of Scripture and our own experience remind us that animals are more than automatons driven by instinct. They are beings with the capacity for joy.

9. Animals teach us about the nature of justice

In Robert Bolt’s play, A Man for All Seasons, Sir Thomas More delivers a brilliant summation of God’s purpose for creating the angels, animals, plants, and humanity. Regarding animals, he observes God created them “for their innocence.” It is difficult to find a better description of animals than this. Animals appear to lack the capacity for moral reflection. They simply do what they do. Scripture supports this understanding. It was humans who ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, not animals (Gen. 3:1-7).

This observation of animal innocence is not only important for our understanding of animals. It also helps us understand our sense of justice. When we ask why we are offended by cruelty to animals, we recognize we are reacting to an innate sense within us that is repulsed by wanton violations of their innocence and vulnerability. This recognition helps us understand some of our motivations for our criminal justice system. When we punish acts of aggression against our fellow humans, we are responding to violations of their innocence and vulnerability. Such violations should be punished. Our sense of justice demands it.

Furthermore, we learn about divine justice from animals. Israel’s biblically mandated practice of substitutionary atonement provides this lesson. Scripture teaches that rebellion against God is sin. God’s holiness demands a penalty in response to this rebellion. In other words, God requires justice. Either the guilty person or an acceptable substitute must answer for human sin. God created the sacrificial system in Israel to help his people understand this reality. He commanded that this system regularly kill innocent animals in order to satisfy the demands of his divine justice (Lev. 16:1-34). The innocent animals would bear the sin of the people. This bloody display served as a symbol for what was yet to come—when the innocent Son of God would offer himself as the true, eternal, substitutionary sacrifice for the sin of all humanity (Rom. 3:21-26; 2 Cor. 5:21; Heb. 10:1-18).

10. Animals belong to God

Psalm 24:1 states without reservation—“The earth is the Lord’s, and all it contains.” This fact is repeated regularly in Scripture. While God commanded the first man and woman to “rule over” every living thing (Gen. 1:26), He was not relinquishing ownership of every living thing.

In fact, God did not relinquish ownership of anything (Col. 1:16; Rom. 11:36; Heb. 2:10). He put the man and the woman in the Garden to “cultivate it and keep it” (Gen. 2:15). He even gave humans authority over it, and after the Flood, he gave us all of the rest of creation for food. But none of this assignment of authority and power included a transfer of ownership. Humans serve a stewardship role toward creation, not an ownership role (Gen. 2:15). This stewardship pertains to everything and is intended to include an attitude of respect (Lev. 25:3-5; Num. 35:33). The animals are subject to humans, but they are not ours to do with as we will. They belong to God (Job 41:11; Ps. 50:10-11).

Conclusion

Drawing from this entire biblical witness, we can make some important conclusions about how to think about animals. First, we must recognise that animals may very well be co-inheritors with us of the new creation. When we consider that animals were part of God’s original design for his creation, it is plausible that they are part of his eternal design, as well. In his letter to the church at Rome, the Apostle Paul said all of creation was subjected to the corrupting effects of the Fall and that the day is coming when it too shall be freed from this corruption (Rom. 8:18-22). There is no reason to suspect that animals are not part of this vision of a redeemed creation. The prophet Isaiah saw a day when humans and animals would live once again in perfect harmony (Is. 11:6-9). The Apostle Paul may be telling us this is a vision of eternity.

I’ll confess that I am not one who believes that animals go to heaven when they die. I don’t see any biblical evidence for this. But given these statements from Isaiah and Paul, we should give more consideration to the place of animals in eternity. They may not be the same animals we have come to love in our lifetimes, but it seems they have a future beyond the Fall. Whether we are talking only about all of eternity, animals deserve to be treated with the dignity such a future bestows.

Second, we must lose some of our anthropocentric view of creation and replace it with a theocentric view, where God is engaged with all of creation, not only humanity. While a theocentric view of creation should not cause us to equate humans with the rest of creation, it should cause us to treat the rest of creation with more respect or less respect. God is interested in all of creation, not only humans. After the Flood, he covenanted with all flesh on the earth, including the animals, never again to destroy the earth with a flood (Gen. 9:11-17). The fact that God would enter into a covenant with the animals tells us something of his love for them. We, therefore, should be more concerned about all of creation, including animals, too.

Third, these biblical truths about animals mean we should be engaged in activities that help the rest of creation fulfill God’s design and interest in it. Possibly, we don’t know all that means. For example, who would have guessed that God would use the ravens to feed his prophet? He might very well be doing similar things in some part of the world today. Consequently, we should help to empower creation, not as its slaves or its equals, but as its caretakers.

Fourth, we must abandon unbiblical notions about animals and embrace a more biblical view of our animal co-inhabitants. The Bible compels us to develop a better appreciation and respect for them. I’m glad science is revealing many enlightening truths about the animal world. But it is clear that Scripture has already revealed much of what science is discovering. Animals are much more complex than they at first appear to be. We should do all we can to better understand them and their place in God’s creation. It will not only be good for them, but us as well.

God put animals on the planet and gave them a mandate as well. Part of the human calling is to help them fulfill this mandate in a way that enables them to reach their full potential in creation. They not only enrich our lives. They point to the creator of all things. Animals are not only worthy of our respect. They deserve it.

I thought I'd leave my personal opinion to the end, but may I suggest that my personal opinion also stems in line with Gods (Prov 12:10). I want to respect and care take his creation, us as humans have been given the duties to pursue. the walls of a slaughterhouse is not Gods ideal image or care-taking for its creatures. Don't trust the media images of what goes on in those four walls, even though they are true. Watch documented fact like cowspiracy where people go undercover in these slaughterhouses, if not actually visit one yourself, then tell me we are giving gods animals the respect they deserve. Because we are not. Your dinner plate went through all that injustice and disrespect of gods creation before quenching your bloodthirsty desires. Until these matters are made a right I won't be partaking in these unruly rituals of eating unjustified meat, sorry animals.